Defeat.

Bowling: the one sport I can kick Seth's trash in.
Last time we went I got 102, he got a 48.
Yes, that is more than twice his score.

So you can imagine my excitement when our ward decided to go bowling for FHE last night. And then something happened. Something terrible happened. . . . .


Seth BEAT me! Seth, who has never gotten over 100 in bowling in his life, got a 116. AND he beat me by 30 points. THIRTY.

The universe has been turned upside down.
and, now I have absolutely nothing I can beat Seth in. Absolutely. Nothing.

Awesome.

My sociology class is online and every week the teacher posts a discussion topic that we are required to write a response to and submit it to our online class forum. This way you can see what other people are writing as well.
The other week the assignment was, Tell a joke and then explain why people think it is funny.
This is the joke one classmate sent in.

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

I think I enjoyed it so much because it reminded me of how I used to try and get out of trouble with my own father by comparing my grievous actions to all the things I could have done that were much worse. If only I'd thought to write something like this....

Driving Adventures

It was snowing pretty heavily on Saturday.
Unfortunately Seth and I had errands to run - we had to go pick up some Cold Stone for a friend and then bring it to her in the hospital.
I was driving up State Street very slowly and carefully because I hate driving in the snow with a passion. And that's when this car decided to turn left and pulled right in front of me.
I had to hit my brakes so that I wouldn't drive right into the car. And that's when my own car started sliding all over the road.
My back end started swinging first to the left, then to the right, then to the left again. It did a half turn and it finally slid to a halt in the middle of the lane facing oncoming traffic.

Luckily enough, there was not very much traffic because of the snow and most of the cars behind me were driving slow enough that they could easily go around me. I pulled off to a side road to calm down and reorient my car.
I was cursing the car that pulled in front of me for the rest of the day. Idiot!

As if that were not enough for one car trip, on the way back a large pile of snow fell off a traffic light and launched itself at my front window. It scared the crap out of me.

Definitely never living in Utah after I graduate. EVER.

Week o' Birthdays

This week my sister Katie's birthday was on the 10th and my brother David's birthday was on the 12th.

Katie turned 16 - aka dating. SCARY!
One of my favorite stories about Katie is a perfect example of how devious she is.
When she was younger she liked to get me and my older sisters in trouble. One time she had spent quite a bit of time bothering Amanda, until she finally had to push Katie away. Not like a terrible push - just enough to get Katie away from her. Katie immediately starts screaming and crying. In rushes our mother, who automatically assumes it's Amanda's fault and begins lecturing her. Then she takes Katie under her arm and gently leads her away from her horrible older sister.
It is at this point that Katie turns her head around just enough so that she can catch Amanda's eye without our mother noticing.
And then she winks.

It took years before we convinced our mother of the truthfulness of this story. Now we know Katie for what she really is - devious. And we love her for it.

David turned 13 - aka teenager. SCARY!
My favorite story about David....probably every conversation I have had with this kid.
When he was younger he used to walk around the house simultaneously making farting noises with his armpit and screeching "Brett" in a southern accent. . . . don't ask me why.
I suppose only those of you who have witnessed this event will find it hilarious, but trust me -it is one of my most treasured memories.
Thanks for putting up with four older sisters David. (You know you love it.) We don't know what we'd do without our brother.

Happy Birthday to my favorite brother and younger sister. I love you.

The Nerd Hole

So right now I am sitting in the Nerd Hole, with Seth.

What, pray tell, is the Nerd Hole? It's the CAEDM lab in the Clyde Building on BYU Campus. What, pray tell, does CAEDM stand for? No one has any idea. I asked Seth and he said Computer and Engineering Department of Magic. . . . .

I'm going to hazard a guess and say that magic is nowhere in the title.

We're here because Seth has an assignment to do and he needs a program that the computers in here offer. And I wanted to be with him.
And I'm blogging about it simply because I wanted a post entitled "The Nerd Hole."

It is not known university wide as The Nerd Hole, only to Seth and his roommates. That is because this is an engineering lab. Need I say more?

. . . . all right fine.

There are multiple skinny white boys with glasses situated about the room. I see .....3 girls. Including me. There are absolutely no windows. They have a 24 hour clock on the wall so that you are able to tell if it's am or pm. (and Seth said the following with a look of glee on his face, "Janette, there's no curfew here. We can stay here all night. Just partying!" How fortuitous that I had just barely opened up a new post and was able to type it out) There are computers everywhere. You need a code to even get in this place. And only engineers can have the code.

What am I doing in here again? Oh right...Seth.

P.S. I figured it out. And by "I," I mean my friend Joseph. It stands for Computer Aided Engineering Design and Manufacturing

Surprise

I knew there was a reason I felt like bringing my camera to work today.
If you can't see the writing you can click on the pictures to make them bigger.

So apparently the night shift was bored last night and left little extra additions to the instructions posted everywhere. I found them quite amusing.

And finally, the New Manager Rules, of which I am a fan.

This is posted on the back door that the night shift leaves through.

Ah, the fun of living in Utah!

Creepy Date Ideas: A How-to

Have nothing to do this weekend? Getting bored of your usual dinner/movie plans? Let me enlighten you with a guide to "creative dating."
Here is your very own Picture Guide on how to make creepy masks!
Idea brought to you courtesy of Seth and Michael, founders of the creative dating genre.

Step 1: Gather your friends. Get all necessary supplies-masking tape, tin foil, and paint.

Step 2: Press foil to face to leave an imprint.
Step 3: Be sure not to suffocate yourself whilst tinfoil molding. Step 2 is actually harder than it looks. Hint - the eyes are especially tricky. Also be sure not to poke your eyeballs too hard whilst tinfoil molding.

Step 4: Cut out eye and mouth holes. Be careful who you let use sharp knives. . . .
Step 5: This is about where your masks will start getting really creepy. Step 6: Carefully cover your tinfoil mold with masking tape. This will help stiffen the mask and make it easy to paint on. It also increases the creepy factor, as it now is closer to your skin color.
Step 7: Paint your mask.
Step 8: If your boyfriend decides to paint on you, let him finish....
Step 9: ....and then get him back. Step 10: Show off your creepy creations to everyone!
This is best done when wearing your mask and in the dark of the night.